Bob Maistros

News Flash:  Speaking to a Washington conference of the National Association of Counties, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi says of the health reform legislation now before Congress, “(W)e have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it, away from the fog of the controversy.”

"Dude, just sign it."

June 15, 1215 – William Hardel, Mayor of London:  “Forsooth, King John.  Thou mustest affix thine seal to this Magna Carta; worrye not about ye fyne prynt.  We will let you know what lieth therein about ye King and his powyrs later, far from the fogge of controversye over your failures in France, your assignment of ryghts to Englande and Irelande to ye Pope in Rome.”

July 2, 1776 – Thomas Jefferson:  “Friend Hancock, we need you to sygn this Declaration of Independense so that we can slip it through without that the People should notyce.  This controversye over the Tea Partye – surely a one of a kind occurrence, never to be repeated – is certainly confusing the issue.  We will let the people knowe later that it means Revolution agaynste the world’s greatest superpower.  So do not make your signature too large.”

September 17, 1787 – James Madison:  “This Convention must slyde this Constitution of the United States past the Colonies, so that we myght then later informe them of what is in it, beyond this fogge of controversye over minor matters such as separation of powers, states’ ryghts and slaverye.  We will ensure the Assemblies that it is not necessarye to read it until they have ratifyed it.”

January 1, 1863 – Abraham Lincoln:  “I need to sneak through this Emancipation Proclamation.  I’ll let everyone know what is in it after the war, away from these slippery little contentions over secession and the Dred Scott decision.”

December 8, 1941 – Franklin Roosevelt:  “Yesterday, December 7, 1941, was a day that will live in secrecy.  Heck, the Japs sneak-attacked us; the American people don’t really need to know that we’re entering a world war until we start shipping our boys over there.”

August 7, 1964 – Lyndon Johnson:  “Heck, you boys don’t need to worry about what’s in this Gulf of Tonkin Resolution or even what happened over there.  I’ve already told you I’m not seeking any ‘wider war.’”

September 12, 2002 – George W. Bush:  “Leaders of the world, we need to send our troops over to Iraq so we can find out what’s over there.  Trust me on this weapons of mass destruction thing.”

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