Archive for September, 2010

Memo to Roger Goodell and the NFL Competition Committee

Bob Maistros

MEMO

TO:                  Roger Goodell and the NFL Competition Committee

FROM:            Fans Across America

“Mickelson is lining up his 25-foot putt.  This is a tricky devil of a shot … it’s downhill and breaks first left and then right.  It will take a deft touch.  The fan favorite strokes it smoothly … headed left, curving right, picking up speed … can it be, can it be? … yes!  The ball rattles into the hole!  Lefty has won his first U.S. Open title!  No, no, wait!  Tiger Woods’ caddie was standing right next to the USGA official … he called time out just as Mickelson was about to pull back his club.  Phil will have to make the impossible putt again….”

"It's in the ... oops. Wanna try that again?"

“It’s match point here in the fifth set in the U.S. Open and Nadal prepares to serve.  The ball goes up, the Spaniard hammers it … an ace!  Nada wins only the second Grand Slam in the Open Era!  But hold on … Federer was looking at the official and signaled for a time out just as Nadal tossed up the ball.  He’ll have to redo the serve …. ”

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Think Tank: Tahoe is cumbersome city driver

Jill Ciminillo

The 2010 Chevrolet Tahoe Hybrid goes beyond big. It is well into gargantuan territory. Which isn’t necessarily a good thing. Especially if you live in an urban environment like I do. This tank of a vehicle was kind of like a bull in a China shop with nothing nimble about it.

Petite drivers need not apply.

While I was able to get a great driving position with excellent visibility with the 6-way power adjustable seat combined with the tilt/telescoping steering wheel and power adjustable pedals, everything else about this vehicle was cumbersome for this 5-foot-tall driver.

Chevrolet Tahoe Hybrid

Entry and exit was doable with the running boards, but it wasn’t pretty. Especially in a pencil skirt and high heels. The third-row seat is an often necessary feature in growing families who carpool.

But if you need the cargo room over the passenger space, forget about it. The rear seats fold down, but they don’t fold flat. If you need the space, you have to remove these 100-pound suckers from the vehicle. Which is kind of easy as they slide down a track. But lifting them in and out, not so much. Read the rest of this entry »

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Harry Reid’s ‘Dream Act’: A nightmare for the armed forces

Gregory D. Lee

Last week, while I was on a North Atlantic cruise, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nevada) proposed an amendment to the defense authorization bill he calls the Dream Act. If passed, it would be the Nightmare Act for our national defense.

The so-called “Dream Act” would reward illegal aliens who violated federal law by sneaking into the United States before age 16, and avoided arrest for five years, by allowing them to get a green card after they either go to college for two years (at in-state tuition rates) or serve in the military for two years. In a blog he wrote on The Hill website September 14, Reid says the passage of this bill would also “overturn the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ rule for our armed forces.”

Thanks for protecting America.

He should have named it the “Illegal Alien and Homosexual Dream Act.” According to Sen. Reid, the bill “will ensure that millions of children who grow up as Americans will be able to get the education they need to contribute to our economy,” and “will finally send a loud and clear message that everyone who steps up to serve our country should and will be welcomed regardless of sexual orientation.”

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Jimmy Carter: I’m probably superior to other former presidents

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Pachyderm paranoia

Brett Noel

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Pot-smokers vs. Dan: Let’s see if you hashheads really have a leg to stand on

Andy Hefty

My friend Dan Calabrese continues to write about the abuses of so-called medical marijuana.  Naturally, this divisive topic brings out some passionate and sometimes very ugly comments.  So I thought I’d address a few from the comments on his most recent column.

Biblical Reference to Genesis 1:29. Someone tried unsuccessfully to convince Dan that God Himself put marijuana on this earth to ease the pain of Adam, Eve and their beloved offspring.  Here’s what the user wrote (quoted verbatim):

Nope.

Keep your mind open this plant was created by GOD and labled (sic) by man.

GENISIS (sic) 1:29

God said, “Behold I have given to you every plant whose seed is sown, that is upon the face of all the earth, and every unfruitful tree for the requirements of building and for burning; and (every tree) on which there is fruit whose seed is sown shall be yours for food.

Now, for the actual reference, quoted verbatim:

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Bill Clinton: Let’s get grab $3.4 trillion from the private sector

Dan Calabrese

Bill Clinton was a much better politician than Barack Obama will ever be, not only because he had the ability to make you think he was on your side – Obama can do that while campaigning – but because Clinton had the ability to govern in a way that also made it look like he was doing that.

If only government controlled it all.

So when he was asked in an interview with Yahoo News and the Huffington Post to explain the appeal of the tea party, Clinton deftly made it sound like he gets it – saying we should all listen to the tea partiers because they’re just making the case that everyone but average Americans is doing OK.

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We’re in a spending nightmare

Herman Cain

There’s an old saying that, when you are in a hole, stop digging.

The president, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and the Democrat-controlled Congress are in a deep political ditch, and they won’t stop digging.

The Health Care Deform bill was passed by Congress and signed by the president against the will of a majority of the American people. Passage of the Cap and Trade and Tax and Kill bill passed the House against the will of the people, and the members who signed it did not even read it.

Stop digging.

The $862 billion non-stimulus bill has not worked as advertised, so they passed another emergency $26 billion “jobs bill” (code for more payoffs to the unions). Last week, the Senate passed a $30 billion so-called small business loan fund that the House will pass and the president will probably sign.

Now the president has proposed another $50 billion stimulus bill for roads, rails and runways to give the appearance of doing something to stimulate the economy, when he and his advisors have shown no clue as to how to stimulate the economy.

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AP shills: GOP ‘divided’ on how to replace ObamaCare

Dan Calabrese

Try to follow the logic here. This is the Associated Press, so you’ve got to expect convoluted nonsense at the outset, and you won’t be disappointed.

According to “journalist” Richard Alonso-Zaldivar, Republicans are “divided” on the question of how to replace ObamaCare. And what exactly is the basis for this claim? According to Alonso-Zaldivar, “Some have proposed major changes to workplace coverage, even turning Medicare into a voucher plan. Many prefer small steps that tiptoe around political land mines. Others want a clean start.”

All propaganda.

In other words, there are a lot of different ideas. I’d say that’s to be expected given that there are so many things wrong with the current health care system, and that it will be made even worse once the primary provisions in ObamaCare kick in. We probably need all the ideas Alonso-Zaldivar referenced and more. So that would explain that plethora of Republican ideas.

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Piganomics

Brett Noel

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