Posts Tagged ‘Congress’

Bob Maistros

So once again they’re playing chicken in DC over a government shutdown.

Like a shutdown for a few days, while partisan bickering goes on and the Democrats try to play the media card, portraying Republicans as heartless scum who want to kick Grandma down the stairs, starve children, leave veterans destitute, close parks and halt “vital” services.

Yadda, yadda, yadda.

Listen here.  They don’t know from shutdowns.

Go ahead. Make my day.

I’ll tell you about shutdowns.  The empty storefronts here even in our relatively affluent Ashburn, Virginia community as restaurants, gyms and retail establishments close their doors for good.  The notices many of my friends are getting that their jobs won’t exist anymore.

Important clients who suddenly disappear – no more emails, no more calls, no more answers to inquiries, no explanations, and no more projects.  Factory gates chained shut as operations and jobs are moved to another part of the country or world.  Planned investments that are simply canceled for lack of funds and market prospects.

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Andy Hefty

Like the once-frozen caveman on Saturday Night Live who became a lawyer confused by all the nuances of modern technology, I find myself scratching my oversized, unattractive noggin over the silliness exuded by Congress and the White House.  I’ll admit:  in many respects, I can be like that simple caveman.  But I never went to law school, and I insure my cars through the famous caveman-hated company.

Simple Caveman has the answers

With the endless insults hurled across the political aisle that those of a traditional mindset are Neanderthal to begin with, you can see why those on the left refuse to even ponder simple solutions.  God forbid that they should be aligned with knuckle-dragging right-wing extremists who think simple thoughts like more guns make for less crime.

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Andy Hefty

JACKSONVILLE – At the risk (or is that the overwhelming sense of euphoria?) of tweaking “mainstream” media, Democrats in Congress, and top-level yes-men in the White House, I would like to announce my proud and unapologetic membership into the “Party of No!”

And now a word from the Republican Party!

It’s getting rather sickening in Washington with everyone pointing fingers and pushing blame over health care, taxes, spending, environmental issues, military, and all the other issues that surround us. The latest robotic repetition is calling Republicans “the party of no.”

Well I got news for you: I like that title.

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Andy Hefty

For once in my limited life of punditry, I will finally blame George W. Bush and the Republicans. That’s right. Bush and the “evil GOP” are to blame for our health care mess. I’ll explain.

If Bush hadn’t asked the now late Ted Kennedy to write the No-Child-Educated-Properly bill, the initial capitulation mentality of “compassionate” conservatives would not have taken place.

Compassion? Or coercion?

If Bush had told Congress to stop spending worse than drunken sailors – in his first year in office – then Harry Reid would have been shown to be the blustering, squandering, mouthy, irresponsible, tax-and-spend liberal that he is.

If Republicans while in power had actually cut spending instead of “reducing the rate of growth” (a misnomer for spending buckets of cash with reckless abandon), the deficits would not have mounted faster than the buffet plate of an NFL linebacker.

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Dan Sherrier

The House of Representatives has approved a $155 billion “jobs” bill.

Oy vey.

If Congress could magically create $155 billion without consequence, that would be nifty. But it can’t. Therefore, the very idea of a jobs bill is unsettling.

Don't worry. Our kids will handle it.

The money has to come from somewhere. No other country is going to give it to us for free, so ultimately, it becomes our responsibility. The $155 billion to pay for these jobs must be generated from within America. The government can’t create it; it can only require that private citizens hand it over in the form of taxes.

So all of us who qualify as “private citizens,” we’re paying for it. Or our children. Perhaps their children. But debt payments can only be deferred for so long. And don’t forget interest. Read the rest of this entry »

Bob Franken

There are certain cliches that can get really, really irritating. It’s a condition called Platitudinous Badditudinous Attitudinous and it flares up each and every time someone says “We shouldn’t make the perfect the enemy of the good”. Some sort of ridicule is in order, like maybe a “Kick me” sign.

Who wants to save this face?

We usually hear it these days from those trying to gut health care reform, leaving an almost empty shell. Offenders also include our Democratic leaders who are desperately trying to avoid the embarrassment of outright defeat which would probably devastate their party to say nothing of its president.

So they are bargaining away, trying to protect themselves by caving in to each and every special interest group but one, the American people. In particular, they are frittering away the changes that would force the insurance companies to act responsibly. Read the rest of this entry »

Bob Franken

Those who are not sports fans will probably not know the term “BCS”, or that it means Bowl Championship Series, or that it is highly controversial because it chooses a national football champion without the kind of playoff elimination games one finds in other major sports. Now you know.

Doesn't Congress have other things on its plate?

Even though I am among those critics, it has become apparent that BCS should stand for “Ban Congressional Silliness”. After all, what earthly reason is there for the members of the House Subcommittee on Commerce, Trade and Consumer Protection to get into the act by passing a bill and sending it further along the legislative process that would, and I quote “…prohibit, as an unfair and deceptive act or practice, the promotion, marketing, and advertising of any post-season NCAA Division I football game as a national championship game unless such game is the culmination of a fair and equitable playoff system.” Read the rest of this entry »

Andy Hefty

That was the Drill Instructor’s call to cease whatever activity was no longer warranted when I was in boot camp.  That call was followed by silence and stillness.  It was a command for everyone to button their lips and pay attention.  The antics were to stop, and everyone was to immediately – and seriously – focus on the task at hand.

But with Congress, such is not the case.

Can you hear me now?

The Associated Press reports that Congress is set to spend more money they don’t have on projects and programs in which the federal government has no business.  But spend they will.

Remember the 1992 campaign?  The previous call for “change,” orchestrated by Bill Clinton highlighted “trillion dollar budgets.”  Now the current deficit exceeds the budgets from only 17 years ago.

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Bob Maistros

The Press Secretary:  “Ladies and gentlemen of the media, the President of the United States will now appear to make a statement.”

The President:  “Thank you.  As you know, my administration and I recently completed a lengthy review of our Afghanistan policy, at the conclusion of which I made the decision to grant commanding General Stanley McChrystal some 30,000, or 75 percent, of the additional 40,000 troops he requested to effect a surge in that strategically critical  nation.

Whatever the generals need! Kinda. Sorta.

“I also made the determination that we will begin to draw down those forces after 18 months, depending on circumstances on the ground.

“In making that announcement, I indicated that the dire economic and fiscal condition of our nation was a factor in my decision to limit the number of additional troops being dispatched as well as the duration of their deployment.

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Bob Maistros

See Speaker Nancy. Speaker Nancy is head of the House. No, not the house where people live, Silly. Speaker Nancy is head of the House where Congressmen and Congresswomen work.

See the Congressmen and Congresswomen. Congressmen and Congresswomen are people Mommy and Daddy vote for to get the Government to do things that help everybody. Like keep America safe. And make traffic go faster. And make sure Mommy and Daddy have jobs. And keep people healthy. Good Congressmen and Congresswomen!

See Speaker Nancy...

But Congressmen and Congresswomen mostly end up getting Mommy and Daddy to pay a lot of money to the Government. Congressmen and Congresswomen then use the money to do things to get other mommies and daddies to vote for them again. Bad Congressmen and Congresswomen!  Read the rest of this entry »